Lila's Birth Story

We had been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our second girl. It was December, we were all ready for Christmas. We had the nursery all ready to go. I was scheduled to be induced on December 20, 2011.

On Friday night, December 16, my daughter Layla had a funeral for her goldfish. While cleaning out the tank after "burying" Kodiak, I told my husband, "I think I'm having labor pains."

So all night long, inconsistently, I had pains. I would sleep a while then hurt. This went on all night. Around 5 a.m. my contractions were 10 minutes apart. I called the hospital (which is an hour away). They told me to wait until my contractions were 5 minutes apart.

I listened to them. I sent my husband to work. I started to clean the house. I wanted everything done when we brought our baby home. I hadn't even packed a hospital bag yet. My mom came over. I put her to work vacuuming my house. I washed my sheets and took a shower. By then, my pains were a bit more intense and starting to get closer. I summoned my husband to come home and off we went to the hospital.

When we got on the road, my contractions were 5 minutes apart. My husband and I were in my car. My mom, grandma and daughter were following us. Around halfway to the hospital, the contractions became, shall I say, PAINFUL.

They were three minutes apart. Of course I was still putting on my make up between the contractions. Heaven forbid I deliver a baby without my make up. Anyway, those last 30 miles to the hospital were intense.

A one hour drive took about 35 minutes. My husband drove about 90 mph the whole way. He spoke only once on our drive to the hospital. He said "Please hold my hand and stop punching the window."

He knew this was not a time to chat. When we arrived at the hospital, I ran inside. NO time for a wheelchair. No time for formalities. I told them, "I am having a baby now!" After a contraction (where I was on all fours in the first floor lobby), I ran to the elevator and headed to the maternity floor. When you arrive on the maternity floor and shout that you are having a baby, they just look at you like "Oh yes, we have heard that before."

Little did they know how soon this baby would be arriving. They took me to a room and told me to change into a gown. I had a contraction in the middle of changing. Once I started changing, I said to my husband, Chase, "Go park the car, I'll be fine until you get back."

Well, I had Lila while he was parking the car! She was born four minutes after we arrived at the hospital. The doctor came in the room (I was lucky she was there, it was a Saturday). I had her in three pushes.

From that moment on, Lila was letting me know that she wasn't following anyone's schedule or anyone's plan. I had planned to have her on the 20th, she came on the 17th. I had also planned for her to be a "typical", healthy baby.

My husband returned to the room to find a 7 pound 8 ounce baby girl being cleaned up by the nurses. They weighed and checked her while my mother, grandmother and daughter stood outside the door. My husband took her picture and showed it to everyone.

The first time she was placed in my arms, I knew. It wasn't something I wanted to accept, but when you know, you know. I handed her off to the family and they were all admiring her.

I looked at my nurse, I asked if she had Down syndrome. She told me "Well, she has some characteristics of it, I will tell you what they are when everyone leaves." So I sat alone in a crowded room. I knew something that I couldn't yet share. It was a hard few minutes. There are moments that stay with you. They stand out like a picture frozen in your mind. That moment is forever in my brain. I couldn't begin to tell you all the feelings I was having.

When everyone went to lunch, I told my husband what the nurse said. She came in, she said things like "simian crease, fat fold on her neck, space between her toes.." I can't even remember her name. Yet, she was changing my whole life with her words.

She left the room, we cried. I cried the most. I felt so desperate, afraid, angry and just plain shocked. My husband and I elected to go ahead and tell our family when they arrived back from lunch. There were more tears.

We just didn't know what to expect. We didn't know anyone with Down syndrome. Until now.

The doctor said her heart sounded good. Thank goodness. Then she said, "I say there is about a 60% chance she has it." At the time I remember hoping and praying she didn't.

The next day she had an echocardiogram (due to low pulse ox levels). She had an AV canal defect. So, with the heart defect, she was much more likely to have Down syndrome.

So, that night, they sent us home. They sent us home with this beautiful baby. I was scared to death! I was still mourning over what she was not instead of enjoying what she was. I was also truly, gut-wrenchingly sorrowful for the fact that I couldn't fix her. Little did I know, she didn't need to be fixed. She was perfect for us.